Images of My Thoughts

Every time when I see my images, I always have this mix feeling of satisfaction as well as the opposite.  It’s always good at the first glance or two; but then as I look at them for a longer period of time, there will always be the needs for improvements, technically or ideologically,  no exceptions.  I think one of my problem is that I always have this box to shape my shooting styles or to articulate my ideals and it is not like I do not try to go outside the box; but the box seems to always be able to contain me.  Spontaneous is what I feel I am lacking,  as one of my professor would say, I am being too polite, too respectful.

It is those spontaneous moments make the images seem lively, it is those moments that are able to change who I am as an photographer, as an artist.  There are no formulas to create strong images; it is all about trusting instincts and having experience.

Done with the ranting, these couple images below are fashion shoots for my final portfolio, I really enjoy them.  It might not be perfect down to the last wrinkle of the shirt; but concept wise and technically speaking, I find them eye-catching.

I want to thank Erica for putting up with all my annoying demands and also thank Marnie decide to help out and being a wonderful assistant.  Enjoy the images!

Couple weeks ago, I said that I wanted to photograph portraits with a different approach, trying to imitate the way that Platon does it.  The communication, the relationships and level of comfort between the photographer and the subject, and the ability to click that shutter when the eyes see the emotions and compositions.

Therefore, for my studio lighting final portfolio, I decided not to pose my subjects, instead, we have conversations and as that carries on and the comfort level increases, I click the shutter at the moment where there is a genuine feeling involved within the conversation.

It’s really difficult for me because I am not a talkative guy; however, this exercise taught me a lot.  My professor said something in one of the classes, “There are two types of photographers who does portraiture, the first one is where the photographers are more active and they tell what the models should do and the models follow that instruction;  the second is where the photographers are more passive and they are there letting the models do what they want and capture the moment when they believe it is right.”  There are pros and cons to either type of photographers, but to me, I rather be the second one.  I feel like the first type of portraiture photographers, they are there to capture the physical side of the models; for the second type of photographers, they are there to capture the emotional side of the models.  Therefore, to me, it is in much difficult and interesting to see the inner being of a person through photography because usually, that is not the intention of photography.

There is something that money cannot buy, and to me, that is the genuine expression on people’s faces that I am able to capture.

Thanks to Erica, I finally get to see this lake she was talking about that I would never of found by myself in a million years.  I decided to use this landscape for my photo II collage assignment, hopefully the images that I shot would come out good for a collage (only able to use film for this assignment).

After did what was necessary for the project, I just start to shoot whatever I see as fits.  From what happened today, I feel like patience is definitely one of the most important skill to acquire for photography.  It was cloudy and I was framing the shot with this island in the middle of the lake and after I took the shot, I was semi-satisfied with what I see on the screen.  As I was about to move to another location to shoot for a different angle of the lake, I feel the sun hitting the back of my head and when I look up, that island looks completely different from what it was before.  The sun just peeked through this little opening of the cloud and the wither grass on the island instead of looking brown, it is now golden.  So, I quickly took couple shots of this amazing lighting of the scene and within 10 to 15 seconds, the glow was gone for the rest of the afternoon.

I guess I got lucky this time by catching the right moment.  However, what about those people who have hundreds and thousands of photographs with the lighting far more spectacular than what I saw today, are they extremely lucky?  Therefore, instead of just snapping away the shots, that is why I now believe that the ability to wait and just see what will happen is the reason why some photographers are successful, like Henri Cartier-Bresson, who is the person that comes up with the idea of “Decisive Moment” as he said, “There is a creative fraction of a second when you are taking a picture. Your eye must see a composition or an expression that life itself offers you, and you must know with intuition when to click the camera. That is the moment the photographer is creative”.  In order to capture that moment, it is not about lucky, but about patience, observation, the eyes to see the composition that fall into the frame and the ability to click that shutter when you see it.  The only thing I regret about this image is that if I was here a week or two earlier, that tree on the island probably will have this reddish-gold glow to it which would make it more eye catching.

The idea of the second image just came to me when I was sitting around; it is still fall but all the leaves are pretty much on the ground already.  So, I decided to make my own leaves that fall.  Took me two unsuccessful tries until Erica and Marnie ( I think that is her name, I can never remember people’s name when they first introduce themselves to me >.<) volunteered to toss the leaves for me.  Even though it doesn’t look like natural leaves falling, I still like the image because the motion blur leaves as well as the frozen leaves from the flash.

The last two images are just the shots of Erica and Marnie.  You can’t really see their faces, but I hope you can tell by just looking at the images that their friendship is strong.  I feel awkward just being there and I hope I didn’t disrupt them from their bonding because of my presence.

It was a relaxing afternoon other than carrying all the equipments.  I would say it was a good day.

my child is a prize
she adds color to my eyes
and to all my different lives
but the truth of her beauty lies
in the black and white insides
the depth that color hides
and the mother in me cries
as the child in her dies
holding onto prides
knowing she is wise
but still a sadness tries
to prolong the goodbyes

- Sue

This beautiful poem is written by Erica (the model)’s mother, Sue.  She was looking at the color version of this image (October 9th) and this one at the same time and without the distraction of color, she notices more how beautiful and thoughtful Erica is in the cyanotype image and hence the poem to describe her thoughts.

As an outsider of this mother and daughter relationship as well as the author of this portrait, I cannot help but wonder the different meanings that this image give to people because of the different social background everyone is at in relation to this image.  To me, this image is a part of something greater, it is just a piece of the puzzle; however, to Sue, that is obviously not true.

When I first heard that she wrote a poem because of the image, I was overjoyed.  The idea of reinterpretation of images is part of the main reason why I love photography so much.  Now, people are expressing their thoughts behind my images and this idea makes me feel like I am going in the right direction.

As I told Sue, “An image without thoughts behind it is just a dead end picture; but with this poem, the image has become a tale that connect the mother to the daughter,the readers to the author and the viewers to the photographer.”

Here is the B&W image to match the poem:

I believe that the way people live have become more and more degraded as the convenience and the popular trends embedded into people’s minds. People have forgotten their basic instincts and their abilities to act and react. We are numbed by the injections of laws and rules that without a set of rules we cannot function. The problem is that we never question those rules.

And because of those rules, we have stopped challenge ourselves to become more than what is socially acceptable and because of that, the art of individualism is lost. The most common interpretation behind the Japanese proverb today, ” See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” is usually describe the people who do not want to be involved into situation and therefore, they turn their heads the other way to avoid the confrontation and wrong doing.

This following image tells exactly the opposite of the proverb. We need to see the bad influences around us and be aware those things so we that those influences will not be affecting the way we should live. We need to see the rules and decide for ourselves that whether they apply or not, no more following the what is popular but know what exactly what you want.

Of course, it is always easier to say than to do. But, this is just an encourage for people that we should be more than a puppet of society and start to become individuals.